27A - Reading Reflection No. 3

For this week, I chose to read Mindset: the New Psychology of Success (from the second half of the book list).

1.) The general theme of the book was that if you change your outlook on what success means, then you'll be happier and feel more rewarded in both success and failure (in every aspect of life). The general message was that most people have a fixed mindset, where successes and failures are tallied and one measures oneself in those accomplishments compared to others. The fixed mindset also says that a person is born with fixed talents and abilities, like physical abilities and a limited artistic ability. The growth mindset says otherwise. The growth mindset says that we should look at each experience and evaluate how it can help us to grow and become better, through failures and successes alike. This allows a person to stop keeping score of perceived successes and failures, and stop comparing oneself to others. This also means that every single ability can be enhanced or learned, including things like physical skills and creativity/artistic ability. Anything can become a learning experience; even fights in relationships become an opportunity to communicate and grow closer in overcoming that fight.

2.) The book connected with ENT in the outlook on failure. The other assignment for this week was about celebrating failure and gaining something from the experience, which is basically exactly what this book was also saying. Taking every experience as an opportunity to make myself better should be a priority, not just for my success but also for my sanity and happiness.

3.) If I had to design an exercise based on what I learned from the book, it would be applying this advice to something in your life. It could be an academic failure, a personal failure, a fight you're in with your SO or someone else important to you, a recent learning opportunity or risk you took, or some other experience. In the activity you would have to talk about one of those experiences and talk about how you could change your outlook on that experience, good or bad, and how it can help you grow a particular skill or ability in the future.

4.) The biggest surprise in the book was when it talked about relationships and how they are also relevant to taking growing opportunities. The book talked about how no relationship is perfect, and how no one should strive to be in a relationship with no disagreements and no struggle, because then your connection has never truly been tested and strengthened. When a couple disagrees or faces a hardship, they can overcome it together and resolve it to become stronger and closer than before. This is something I've always believed in, and was a fundamental difference in thinking between me and my most recent ex. He had the fairytale mindset that everything should be perfect, and if anything goes wrong (not necessarily with the relationship, but with timing and circumstances) then the relationship just wasn't meant to be. I see it like the book describes, where any hardship just becomes an opportunity to overcome it together and become stronger as a result. So, that part of the book really resonated with me and struck a chord.